Stories from Budapest: Köszönöm szépen

This is the last post from Budapest but not the last story from Budapest. First of all I want to say thank you for everybody who has been part of my adventure here in Budapest. I will miss you all! I would like to thank you everybody personally, buy chocolate for you and write the personal letter. But you are so many so it would take eternity to do that.

My exams went better than I supposed. I did my best, passed well and also got good feedback from the teachers. I can say that I’ve tried to work hard this semester and after the exam day I finally realised that it has been worth it. I’ve thought the whole semester that I’ve gone through a big learning process but now I feel that this was actually the beginning of the process.

Going back to my previous post, have I enjoyed the last week? YES! Every ballet class, seeing friends, food and even on the exam day I enjoyed. Actually I think that exams or performances should be moments when you can only enjoy. Work has done, you know what to do and how to do.

I’ve spent well also the last free days in Budapest. After the exam day I went to swim and sat in the sauna very long time. I just needed it. Then in addition of packing and cleaning I went to see dance performance and Christmas concert. Actually that was my first concert experience in Budapest and I liked it very much. It increased my Christmas mood. And what would be the last days in Budapest without Christmas fair and some treats there. 

Good bye friends, Good bye Budapest! I will miss you a lot. 

- Jutta 

PS. I would like to encourage everybody who are interested in to study abroad to leave. Be brave, be curious, be unsure and go! 

Stories from Budapest: Let's enjoy

Last summer my friend told me how she had used to eat ice cream every day. ”Life is for enjoying” she said. How facile, I thought. You have to suffer a bit that you can enjoy your life, right? No pain no gain, right?

Have you ever killed your joy or happiness by thinking that ”oh that’s soon over, life is soon boring again”? I have, too many times. Why couldn’t we enjoy our lifes? Why couldn’t we do everyday decisions which bring us joy? We cannot always change things in our lifes but we can always choose the attitude how do we face the things.  

Well, it’s time for the last week in Budapest. And I’ve decided to enjoy as much as I can. Whatever I’ll face I’ll enjoy. This last week in Budapest will be made by:

Exams. I have dancing exam about ballet, jazz, hip hop and tap dance. The hard last school day coming!

Cafe moments and friends. Of course.

Goodbyes. I hate them. I would want to skip these moments. Instead of goodbye I would like to say see you soon.

Escape room. This will happen today and I am very exited.

”Boundless”. I would like see this performance on Friday. It will be performed by Elite programme of Budapest Dance Theatre.

(No thesis. It can wait.)

And let's see what else! There are always some surprises in everyday. If you just want to see them.

18th December I will drag my two huge suitcases to Budapest airport. And five minutes before midnight I can say well hello to Helsinki.

- Jutta

Stories from Budapest: Deep sigh

I have only two weeks left in Budapest and I have started to prepare myself mentally to go back Finland. Some friends have also asked me about general questions such as: what have been the best things in Budapest? what will you miss the most? What you’ve learnt here? Etc. And I’ve noticed that it’s pretty difficult answer to these kind of questions while I am still here. I think that I can see this autumn semester and understand myself better later. However I tried to think about these questions a bit and wrote something down...

What shall I miss?

My daily schoolway. It takes 10 minutes to walk to school and I love this transition from my flat to school. 10 minutes time for mindblowing and breathing the open-air. In my way to school there is a painting of huge heart which reminds me everyday what’s the most important thing for human being.

People. Absolutely. For me the hardest thing is to leave behind all people I’ve met.

Cafes. I feel that when I walk along streets of Budapest I always focus on to find different cafes. The sad story is that I won’t have time (or many) enough to try every cafe which I would like to.

The View in the evening. Budapest is beautiful especially in the night time. All those lights and bridges make me sigh deep. So beautiful. And now in December the Christmas fairs of Budapest have brought the own cosy atmosphere to the city.

Dance classes. They’ve been very instructive and quite different (for better or worse). Dance was the reason I came here and it could be reason for staying here.

What have I learnt?

Lot of things of myself. I feel that I’ve gone through a little identity crisis. I’ve faced so many new things here so I probably had to face also myself.

Dancing is my thing. During this semester I’ve many times asked myself why do I dance. Everytime I end up this conversation by saying to myself: I can’t live without dance.  

How it feels to be stressed, ashamed, afraid and lonely. And how to leave these emotions behind and decide to enjoy life. I’ve learnt something about courageous.

I am very finnish who appreciate finnish things. I didn’t know that before. Lol.

Furthermore I’ve also started to appreciate so many other things what I have in my life. Most important my family and friendships. It’s not a self-evidence that I live in wellness and have loving people around me.

What do I waiting for when I go back to Finland?

First of all I am waiting for to see my family and spend time with them. Peaceful, loveful and restful time. And of course because of Christmas time I am waiting for all Christmas things. Especially christmasfood :D Dark chocolate, mulled wine, mom’s vegetable pattys, finnish Christmas bread, red apples, rice porridge…

Finnish language. Finally I can express myself orally well and somebody understand my jokes. Or that I even tell jokes. I think I’ll be very social person when I go back to Finland.

Helsinki. After New Year I will move to Helsinki to do my internship. Helsinki has been my favorite city since I remember and I am pretty excited to move there. Although at the same time it’s sad to leave Budapest behind.

And some random dreams for next year?

When I was child my dream was to be a baker. I’ve always loved to bake but past two years I’ve been even more interested in about coffee. Well, my dream is to be a barista. I could see myself making coffee art all day long. Actually there are also some opportunities in Helsinki to have some kind of barista education…

I will graduate (hopefully :D) next spring as a dance teacher. But at this moment I would like to study dance more. I hope that next year I could develop myself as a dancer somewhere, somehow.

Now when I am soon leaving from Budapest I am already planning to come here again. It feels good to go back to Finland but when you once go abroad (for longer time) you can’t stay in your home country the rest of the life. I think life is too short to live only in the one place. So let’s conquer the world.

- Jutta

Stories from Budapest: Thoughts of Sunday

I just came home from cafe after three hours thesis writing. For once I was very productive, maybe because of the yummy brownie I had there gave sugar-super-power for my brains. Usually I don’t prefer to do school stuff on Sundays but time before Christmas is always more busy and I feel myself¨a bit stressed. But I want to fight against stress. Against full schedules, tiredness, homesickness. Against everything which takes my chance to enjoy these last three weeks here in Budapest!

This weekend I had twice wonderful Thanksgiving meal here. That was three F: food, friends and fellowship. I have thought also something about thankfulness. When I see homeless people (they are many in Budapest) or hear how my friends struggle with school/job/healthy etc I realized how lucky I am. And I’ve also realized how much more thankful I should be. I live with wellness, have lovely family and friends who I miss a lot and I can study dance which is my favorite thing in the world.

Too often small silly things spoil my day. What a power it would be if we don’t let the things define our day. Or life. Despite of stress we can choose to be thankful and we can choose to enjoy our lifes. It’s not always emotionally easy choice but it’s something stronger and lasting. Have a great week with some peaceful and thankful moments!

- Jutta

Stories from Budapest: Some differences

Time really flies! I can’t imagine that after four weeks I am going back to Finland. That feels confusing. When I have just adjusted to this environment I have to leave. At school we have started to concentrate to exams. The exam day will be the last school day and we dance whole day long. But on the other hand it’s very motivational to have exam: it makes me work hard also these last weeks.

When you go to study abroad you’ll soon notice that weekdays are also weekdays in the other country. Studying abroad for one semester is cool experience but most of the days feels very normal also abroad. For example I tend to have my own daily routine very soon also in different environment. However last week I noticed that something what I do bit differently than in Finland. Here are some things which are normal me in Budapest but not in Finland (so far).

I have seen lot of dance performances during this semester. In Budapest there are probably every day going lot of different kind of performances. Most of them are quite cheap and as a student I get also discount. I’ve mostly seen here modern pieces and for example next week I am going to see the Anniversary Gala of Budapest Dance Theatre. I think that going to see different performances is very very good also for the professional identity.

Food. I don’t have here school food or enthusiasm to cook our small kitchen every day. Fortunately in Budapest there are lot of cheap places where to get for example healthy take aways. I usually pick up something from chinese/asian restaurants because they have some great vegetarian food. In addition I so love the cafe (and cake) culture of Budapest and probably I spend too much money for these places. But still I have to admit that I really miss finnish food and cooking and baking by myself…

I realized that I listen to more music here than in Finland. Almost always when I spend my time in my room I have some Spotify playlist on. I’ve found that listening to music is my new energy source.

Budapest is quite a big city and has very good public transport. It’s handy to move from place to place by using tram/metro/bus. In Finland I always prefer walking but in Budapest it’s simply better to use public transport. Easy and quick. The air is not so fresh here so if I need to take some walk I go to Margaret Island or somewhere out of the city.

Yoga lessons. Here I’ve used to go to yoga on Saturdays. I feel that after hard school week yoga is welfare way to start the weekend. Breathe deep, concentrate and strengthen and stretch body. Earlier I had used to run sometimes but nowadays it dose not feel so good. In my opinion the running is not the best workout for dancers because it develops different kind of muscles than we use in dance.

I am sure there are some more things I do differently in Budapest but morning oatmeal and evening stretching are things which always remain :D Also I have to admit that I have never cared nightlife parties which has probably bewildered someones here. Although Budapest is nightlife wonderland I prefer living life during days and sleeping during the nights. So good night everybody and let’s dance hard before Christmas takes me back to home.

- Jutta

Stories from Budapest: #bestrandomness

I realized that my posts mostly handle about how to solve problems of daily life. Maybe because I try to be honest to myself and see the truth in the things. Everyday challenge :D Sometimes I feel that more I try to solve challenges more I see how limited is my viewpoint.  For me living in other country has been very instructive experience. Different people, different culture, so many ways to live… What is my way? What is your way?

But now I don’t concentrate on problems or challenges. I want to tell something about my autumn break which really has been the best. Even that I lost my phone or had stomach flu couldn’t disturb my happiness during the holiday. I had three days quality time with my best friend which meant mostly talking, exploring and eating. During these three days we went to spa, had massage, saw the sunset by Tonava, played games in cafe, hiked in Normafa etc... It’s just awesome to have fellowship with bestie: laugh too much, make silly videos and have deep conversations. Probably at the same time.

My autumn break was also made by lot of randomness. Little and little bit bigger things which just made me so happy, nervous and excited at the same time. Although it’s sad that holiday ends I feel myself ready to go school again. In the weird way I miss that feeling 6 am in the morning when you have to wake up with sore muscles and you realized it’s not until Tuesday. That’s why the holiday is needed: after break you see again better why do you do what you do.

For me autumn break is also sign to start waiting for Christmas. It’s time to update Christmas playlist in Spotify, add cinnamon for everything and make list of present wishes…

- Jutta

Stories from Budapest: When the leaves are falling...

Szia! It’s autumn break here. I had last lessons today and now let’s turn the holiday mood on. To be honest I really need holiday. I realized that during the last week, thanks for some lectures I had about ”fatique”.

i learn this river
i’m swimming against
has not been trying to
crush the body
it has been trying to
carry me in its mercy. 

//daniell bennett

I couldn’t watch myself from the mirror. There was ugly and wrong kind of dancer. I avoided mirror during the dance classes and prefered dance in the back row. I didn’t want that teacher would notice me. I felt that I couldn’t receive corrections without crying. Last two weeks I’ve thought many times what’s wrong with me. Why I don’t have physical and mental energy do dance and concentrate. I felt the paradox that what I love most will destroy me.

Couldn’t do pirouettes, couldn’t find balance, couldn’t feel myself. It was hard to fall asleep in the night. Too many things and thoughts. I didn’t write diary or stop myself during the day. I tried to survive and that’s not the purpose of life. When you have physical fatique it affects also to your mind. The teachers and dancers should know it.

My highlight of the week was the most simpliest thing in the world. I took walk on the Friday evening. Actually I went to Margaret Island which is very beautiful ”sport place” in Budapest. I walked and took my time. Maybe understood myself a bit better. Hey, I am tired and that’s okay. I have to rest and do something what I really like to do. And spend time with people who loves me.

It is important to rest also from dancing. Do something different and notice that dancing is just dancing. Although it’s vocation of my life I am also somebody else than dancer. I am sure I will have the most unique autumn break ever. My best friend is coming here and that’s pretty cool. 

- Jutta

Ps. I am waiting for the feeling after autumn break when I walk to the front row and dance with good vibes.